An excerpt from Greg Gerke’s Especially the Bad Things
I had some issues like crying and being mad at everyone. My friend, who lived thousands of miles from me, tried to help me. She wanted me to meet her other man friend who lived near me. In her emails she said I was a good guy. In his emails he said helping me out sounded like a good idea. In my emails I said if someone used the word goodone more time I would break their legs or at least fuck up their email account. In a joint email they said there was no need for me to swear, that they were just trying to help me. I emailed back that maybe I didn’t need their help if they weren’t willing to let me act the way I wanted to, because after all I was the one in trouble. I didn’t receive any emails for a while so I emailed I was just kidding and said that some people who knew me where I lived thought I was a good guy. I only received a forwarded email from my woman friend detailing cheap airline tickets to the Caribbean. I emailed back the Caribbean would not make me less angry, but I mistakenly emailed this to the airline and they happily responded, wanting to know how many tickets I wanted. I emailed back I couldn’t buy tickets because I had a lot of problems and my stomach hurt. They emailed I should try peppermint tea. I emailed back the suggestion seemed very holistic on their part and my idea of what an airline was had been totally blown up. They emailed back I should never send an email to an airline containing the words blown up. I emailed back I was sorry, but no-one replied.